BOFH: The revenge

"Impressive," our recent ex-new-Boss says nervously, edging towards the back of the room. "How did you... find us?"

"Simple," the PFY says, entering from the door behind him, cattleprod in hand. "One of the laptops you took wasn't exactly what it looked like."

"Bitlocker?" the ex-new-technician asks, halting his in-tandem retreat along with the ex-Boss.

"No," I respond, fingering my own modded prod. "The machine had built in wireless and GPS and used scripted netstumbler to peer with any access points it could find and report its location."

"Really?" the ex-boss asks.

"Nah, the PFY lifted your wallet the day you started and stole your credit card details and personal information. We followed you here from your home."

"Ah," the ex-Boss says. "Which was why I found my wallet on the floor behind my desk last week."

"Indeed. Why steal a wallet when the cards would be deactivated within the day? No, it's far better that you feel you mislaid it for a moment and give us the opportunity to order a month's worth of crap to be delivered to your home."

"Crap?"

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BOFH: The revenge | The Register